Comments for Incertus

Comment on Design for people with OCD by Dave

Dave — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 07:31:23 +0000

I also find this type of design consideration encouraging; however, the execution (in my opinion as one who suffers from OCD and is/was an appliance checker) would not work. Beyond the fact that one would doubt the tags were correct (maybe they weren’t reset from the day before, maybe I made a mistake and used the tag without actually turning the appliance off, etc.) This process is in fact enabling the OCD sufferer to act on their compulsions which can lead to further and worse OCD. To get past compulsion such as this, one has to deal with them head-on through exposure and response prevention.

Comment on Rosemarie’s Story by Rosemarie

Rosemarie — Thu, 22 May 2008 07:53:46 +0000

An update:

It’s now the following year, I have moved to another country with my partner, so now we are alone and starting out again. It was a major relief to get away from the house I was living in before, which had just turned into a nightmare for me. I really hope I can leave any fears behind, but I never want to go back to that place again where I spent such dark months. We are invited to a party there next weekend and I really am trying to avoid going, as I fear it will trigger off all sorts of anguish to have all those reminders of that awful time around me, where I didn’t know what was real and what to think. I know that running away isn’t an answer, but at least in the short term it has removed a great source of anxiety for me. I want to start new and forget everything - I know it’s hard, but I want to do it right this time. This illness, obsession, whatever, is the most awful, crippling thing, it ruins everything. Before I left my old house, I had a few meetings with a therapist, who I unfortunately couldn’t carry on seeing due to me moving away. She related it back to my childhood, in which I was badly injured before going into care, I think I have some kind of trust and self-esteem issues due to that. I don’t yet have a name for this affliction, I will be going back into therapy as soon as I have health insurance here and I just want to fully understand what is going on so I can live my life.

Comment on Alison’s Story by Matthew

Matthew — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 03:32:16 +0000

I can relate to all your stories. My OCD started when I was around 16. I remember in PE Class waiting for a fellow class mate to finish his trampoline routine. I was next in line. I noticed he had a cut which started to bleed (from the friction of the mat i guess) and some blood was left on the trampoline. I also had a cut on my hand. Although the blood was wiped clean (semi clean in my eyes) I was overcome with fear. The guy was the sort who seemed not to care about much, always talked about girls he was seeing etc… I analysed this for the next week, seeing only negative few points unfortunately.

My AIDS OCD hit rock bottom after a few years more of this. What freaked me out was why I was feeling like this, how long it would last etc… I was totally bewildered. I went on medication (aropax and xanax) from the years 1997 - 2002. Whilst the medication did take away my symptoms to a large degree I was never fully cured.

I feel very fortunate over the last 3 or so years to have found the help of david Johnson in New Zealand. His web site panicfree.co.nz gives a great overview of the anxiety state in general which is what OCD is : an anxiety. I have made major progress from seeing him. When I first saw him I thought his method of coping seemed too simple that surely it wouldn’t work. I thought that what I was going through was so complexed that only something complex itself would cure me. I still have OCD but seeing the progress I’ve made without the need for medication is gratifying. It’s made me realise just waht a big bluff OCD is. Baically instead of fighting the unwanted thoughts when they arise you do the opposite: face them, accept them, float , and let time pass. Basically I just “let it all happen” or let the thoughts do what they like, and I just get on with what I’m doing. Of course this is still very hard at times due to a sensitised nervous sytem, but understanding why you are like this and how to cope doesn’t frighten you. Yo are no longer bewildered by what you are going through. I say this in all honesty. I am a sufferer living my life how I want to. Gradually over time the unwanted thoughts will come to mean less and less. I can say this with confidence.

Comment on Henry’s Story by Carla Pettezzoni Delman

Carla Pettezzoni Delman — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 16:41:08 +0000

Hi,
My name is Carla, and I am brazilian. I was very surprised when i read Henry’s letter..His OCD symptons are so much like mine, and i will feel the same way henry does, when it comes to dealing with this thing that OCD is…like Henry , I just won’t feel the need or a reason to get out of bed every morning myself…I too distort reality, and some of the time OCD will try to get me to believe in things that definitely aren’t there, and I’ll start thinking I am losing my mind…right now this deep depression is getting to me. I have no friends to turn to, my family won’t nderstand how this OCD thing will interfere with mylife, i have no social life at all, haven’t had engaged in a realtionship in several years now; i am a loner myself , dealing with this monster that OCD has become in my life. To make things worse, I am unemployed, and will barely have any money to live on myself. I just want henry to know that he is not alone on this battle field, I mean, i am the same, I mean his OCD symptons are very much alike mine, and when i read his letter on here it felt as though I had written it myself instead.

Comment on Brandi’s OCD Story by Griff

Griff — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 04:35:22 +0000

Wow, at the age of 8 or 9, thought i was going blind, pure hell i tell you. Next it was a brief stint with cancer. Then a more graphic body image obseesion i don’t want to get. Well I’m 24, broke up with a gf because of ROCD, i loved her but my mind would always call me a liar. How lovely. Well 8 months down the road I got the HOCD thing happening. Being gay was never in the cards for me but not im starting to believe it. Only now have i started therapy and all.

Comment on Brandi’s OCD Story by Kendra

Kendra — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 05:00:45 +0000

I can’t tell you what this did for me. I’ll be 18 in a week and I also have those “am I a lesbian” thoughts. And I know I’m not.

It’s so good to know someone has gone through the same thing.

Comment on T’s Story by Kendra

Kendra — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 04:24:23 +0000

Hey. Im only 17. But reading this made me want to cry. I also suffer from OCD. But instead of always having to do things like I used to I now have obsessive thoughts. I have to think about certain things everyday over and over and over again. I have to ask myself if i love my bf of a year and a half even though I know I do. i have to ask myself if i’m a lesbian and I know I’m not.

This really helped me.

Thank you.

Comment on Alison’s Story by Incertus

Incertus — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 19:59:11 +0000

Yep. That’s where OCD lives in the question, “What if?” Of course we come up with the most horrible of answers to that question. And can’t forget them.

There is a danger in searching online for medical answers, if that is the focus of your OCD (contamination/disease type thing). You will always find something that sets you off. It’s something I try to not do any more. It’s hard. It’s that need for certainty that keeps feeding the desire to keep looking until find something that relieves the anxiety. That rarely happens. In my case it resulted in my becoming a walking text book on epidemiology. (heh) And of course makes the OCD more entrenched.

As you already know, in time the current obsession will fade. The odds that you have what you found is extremely remote but OCD hooks onto that fact that it is not impossible and it becomes almost a reality.

Comment on Alison’s Story by Barbara

Barbara — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 17:59:58 +0000

Well guys, I thought I had left OCD behind, but the wheels came completely off the cart yesterday. I was on a health web site checking on some symptoms I was having and saw that I could have a condition afflicting, among other people, those with compromised immune systems. Of course I just happened to zero in on that one fact and have been in a tail spin ever since. I have been under a lot of stress lately. My rational side tells me this is the OCD talking, but the OCD side keeps saying “but what if . . . .”

Comment on Alison’s Story by Mary

Mary — Sat, 24 Nov 2007 06:33:45 +0000

It is reassuring to see so many other people struggling with OCD, although I wish none of us had it.

My OCD started out with little things when I was young (couldn’t stand tags in clothes, anything binding, and repetitive sounds) but now I am freaked out about papercuts. I constantly imagine getting papercuts on my eyes or belly button (bizarre!). Sometimes, I am cringing and pressing my eyes with my hands to try and physicaly get rid of the feeling. I remind myself it is unlikely, but I can almost feel that it’s not just a thought, it’s my body out of balance.

It gets a lot worse when I am overly-tired, stressed, eating too much junk, and generally not taking care of myself. Paxil, exercise, and sleeping more usually help me a lot.