My ocd started when I was about eight. I am now 21 and still have not fully recovered. I have kind of a different kind of OCD, or so I think. I haven’t viewed many stories like mine. I get overwhelmed with worry and anxiety that my mom or dad are going to die when I’m not with them. Such as at work, or a friends, or my boyfriends house for the weekend. I perform rituals such as I have to brush my hair 5 times or turn on a light switch on and off 5 times just whatever I’m around …always 5 times because it’s my “lucky” number and touch certain things. If I don’t perform these I feel like something bad is going to happen to them.
With time I overcame the ritual part but am still worried that every time I’m away from my family, something bad is going to happen to them, such as a car crash where they all die. Or just vanish and I’ll never see them again. My anxiety went away for about 5 years, and since I turned 21 it is coming back, and I think worse. I get to the point of panic where I have to call them or rush to where they are. Do you know what it feels like to be 21 and feel this way? My parents think I fully recovered and I just can’t tell them that all of this is coming back. If anybody can relate, maybe share a similar story, it could help me get through this AGAIN without medication. thank you.